Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize