Whod you bang
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
