I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
