My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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