Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
