3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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