My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
