4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
