Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
