at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
