Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
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The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
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He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY