so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.