The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.