i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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