i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm like, not good at living.
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