he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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