he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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