After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
