weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I love you. Go after that dick
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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