I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Vodka?
Forever.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
