You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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