Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
