If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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