Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
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And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize