Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
