i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Randomize