all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
