HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
