pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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