So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
