erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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