we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
