Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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