Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
