And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
They have beer where we have blood.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
