If i come over, it means nothing
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
