whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
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I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
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All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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