I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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