he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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