I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize