Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
