I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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