conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker