I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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