What did we do last night that was yellow?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.