Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize