your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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