Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize
