youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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