white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
