she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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