So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
