She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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