so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
