"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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