The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
