some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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