Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
