This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
