She went from zero to smokin in five shots
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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