so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
