I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
is that a dick in a sweater?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
